firstly i wanna tell u that
at my school
there's no rule about what kind of clothes u can't wear, etc
it's free if you wanna wear hot pants and T-shirt, for example
but, my mom still thing like an old school brain
she don't allow me to wear some hot pants to school
even though,i often changed my long pants (eeww..)
to hot pants at toilet in the basement
so my mom won't know it
at the morning when i have to go to school to receive my result
i forgot to bring long pants..
all I've got is hot pants
which i guessed, my mom wouldn't allow it
so i asked her if she have any pants that i could wear
and she said she didn't have any
so, i think I'm gonna wear Bali's pants
and she yelled at me
"i paid for your school that expensive, not because you can humiliate yourself by wearing that pants!!"
WTF?!!
hellooww..
i just go to my school
receive the result
and that's all!!!
why do i have to look formal just because of that??
i think it's not necessary at all
she kept yelling at me
and finally she allowed me to wear the hot pants
then me and my dad have to drop her off to her office
and all the time we're otw to her office
she's still saying the thing
at the first time, i was planning to stay at her apartment this week
but after she said such things at me
i was thinking that i wanna go home today!!
not tomorrow not the day after tomorrow
but today!!after receiving the result
i wanna go home!!
after my mom out of the car
i said to my dad
"i wanna go home, can u please drop me off there?"
then my dad, said OK
so i went home
i left my result at her apartment,so she can know the result
that day,,she didn't call me or send me a msg just to say
"I'm proud of you..you've got some great score and the scholarship..it's great!keep up the good work"
or give me a reward or something (that one is my wish..LoL)
then the next day (today)
i went to her apartment (she already at her office)
and found a letter at the top of my result
well, it's for my dad
but after he read that,i looked at it and read it, too
the point is..she said that my dad did what she think it's not necessary
that can cause a problem between them
yup!!
that's my mom
who think she is the GOD of the family
(i mean the entire family, big family, inc my grandma and so on)
who think she is the best
who think she always right
who think she is the one who have more salary than the others of the family member and because of that she can do everything she wants
and she think she have all the power to control the whole family
which i think it's sucks!!
i wish i can get a picture of her devil's face
and print it out in a big size of picture
and put it one at her office
each one of the church she sing for
(she's a worship leader, so she sing at several places..
a worship leader without a heart and only have a heart at Sunday)
and i wish i could record it and play it at her office and the church
so everyone at the church and her office would know what kind of mother she is
11 February 2009
My wonderful result
10th February..
i received my result for the second semester
of international foundation program
and guess what?i got scholarship for A$1000!!
yeaahh!!
now, I'm a diploma student
I've got 2 High Distinction and 2 Credit
how cool is that,huh?
just a few hours before, i spoke to my agent
he said the score is good and i have to keep it up
my dad said he's proud of me
and my mom haven't say anything to me......yet
about the result
although she already saw it
surprise....surprise.....
yeah....what a surprise.....
(do i have to make my face look like a surprise's face?)
you have make me disappoint,mom!
that's true..
why did i can say such thing?
cause,when my mom's having her b'day
and my brother (i think) forgot about that day
she said that he made her disappointed
well..you did the same thing,mom
congratulation to you
i received my result for the second semester
of international foundation program
and guess what?i got scholarship for A$1000!!
yeaahh!!
now, I'm a diploma student
I've got 2 High Distinction and 2 Credit
how cool is that,huh?
just a few hours before, i spoke to my agent
he said the score is good and i have to keep it up
my dad said he's proud of me
and my mom haven't say anything to me......yet
about the result
although she already saw it
surprise....surprise.....
yeah....what a surprise.....
(do i have to make my face look like a surprise's face?)
you have make me disappoint,mom!
that's true..
why did i can say such thing?
cause,when my mom's having her b'day
and my brother (i think) forgot about that day
she said that he made her disappointed
well..you did the same thing,mom
congratulation to you
05 February 2009
no longer as a single?? WTF!!
it was tomorrow when i went to my old school
to say hay to my old friends and some teachers there
after that
i went to Melka's house with Vina
both are my best friends since high school
then
after i heard about everything that happens since i moved to another school
they said..
"hey Anast..i wanna tell you something..i was playing facebook at that time
and i checked your ex boyfriend's (it means G's)..and i saw his the status is NO LONGER AS A SINGLE"
MOTHER-F >,<
i was so shocked and surprised
does he already has someone to love?
does he already have a girl?
or what?
i wanna know
really
i don't know how he can forget everything about me
i still wonder..
does he still thinking about me?
does he still remember the things when we were together?
how could you forget about me
how could you forget about our memories
how could you do all that with pleasure and fun?
i don't understand
and i don't want to
i have to move on...
that's what all my friends said to me
but it's hard
really really hard
i even tried to like someone but i can't
they're not like you
they're not you
how can i love somebody?
the one i like is you
do you know it?
do you realize that?
no, you don't
cause you don't even care about me at all
you don't even wanna know how things goes on with me
you just thinking about yourself!!
you jerk!!
I'm a stupid to fall in love with you
to say hay to my old friends and some teachers there
after that
i went to Melka's house with Vina
both are my best friends since high school
then
after i heard about everything that happens since i moved to another school
they said..
"hey Anast..i wanna tell you something..i was playing facebook at that time
and i checked your ex boyfriend's (it means G's)..and i saw his the status is NO LONGER AS A SINGLE"
MOTHER-F >,<
i was so shocked and surprised
does he already has someone to love?
does he already have a girl?
or what?
i wanna know
really
i don't know how he can forget everything about me
i still wonder..
does he still thinking about me?
does he still remember the things when we were together?
how could you forget about me
how could you forget about our memories
how could you do all that with pleasure and fun?
i don't understand
and i don't want to
i have to move on...
that's what all my friends said to me
but it's hard
really really hard
i even tried to like someone but i can't
they're not like you
they're not you
how can i love somebody?
the one i like is you
do you know it?
do you realize that?
no, you don't
cause you don't even care about me at all
you don't even wanna know how things goes on with me
you just thinking about yourself!!
you jerk!!
I'm a stupid to fall in love with you
one of my idiotic.. >,<
today
i went to a mall with my two other friends
we played together at timezone
bla bla bla..
and we watched underworld movie..
which a nice film i think
well..it's not that bad
i think the girl is not pretty enough
and also the boy's not handsome enough
that's what i think
it went well until it's happening
when i park my car
of course i opened the gate first
and i put the car in
then i think i park it not straight enough
so..i when i was driving my car backward
unbelievable..the wind moves the gate inside
and hit my car..
i was very panic even until now and so afraid
the fact is the car has been hit by the gate
and the worse thing is i have to told my mom and dad about it
it's no problem with my dad..
the real problem is my mom
so..without thinking again
my dad was working,so i called my dad
and i said everything to him
he's so understand about it
he didn't mad at me
he just said some advices
like i should be more be careful next time or i should be more aware
and so on
he said that with no angry tone at all
i was so happy and i cried because he's so kind to me
and that's why i love my dad more than my mom
he can understand me, even sometimes he didn't
the he suggested i should call my mom and tell her about this
i said "yeah..I'll call her"
i think i should call her, too
'cause it's just make things worse if i don't tell her
until she figure it out by herself
after having some time to clear my mind and ready to be hear her shouting at me
and said something about bad about me,etc
i called her to her office
and tell her everything
she don't believe me with the explanation
she said "it's impossible the gate can damaged the car like that"
well..i just speechless and don't know what to say
and she's angry with me
but she kept her tone voice low..
cause she's in the office
she have to behave and be nice
and thanks for that, at least she didn't yell at me
and said some bad words that hurts me more
she said i have to paid for fix the damn car
(i can do that)
after that, my mom didn't say more and she turn off the phone
with her rudeness
and i didn't cried when i talked to her
but still i feel guilty about it
after 15 minutes..
my dad called me
he wants to see the car so he told me to take a picture
so i took it and send it to my dad
he send me a msg after that
dad : it's alright..as soon as i get home, I'll fix it,OK?..i didn't mad at you..cause this is an accident..and don't you mad to your mom,OK?
me : no i don't mad at you,dad..sorry to make you disappointed
(when i read the msg again..oops, i wrote it wrong..i should write "i don't mad at mom"..so i send him another msg)
me : i mean, i don't mad at mom
dad : so,are you mad a me?
me : no,dad..i don't mad with anybody..because this is my fault
dad : this is all not your fault..it was just an accident that you drove in a wrong time..if you hit somebody's car, it is a problem..OK?
me : OK..thanks dad
tomorrow i have to stay at my apartment
which is, there's where my mom stay at
so tonight i don't meet her
and i have to stay there
cause at Saturday's morning
I'll be on my way to visit my family from my dad's side
to be honest..
i really really don't wanna see her
and i mean it
i wish i don't have to meet her for 1 month
at least until she forget that she's angry with me
that's the difference between my mom and my dad
u see, when i called my dad
i wasn't cry at first
but when he said he didn't mad at me
it wasn't your fault
i just feel like this is what i wanna feel
i don't want to be yell at
he kinda cheering me up
and that makes me feel more guilty than before
but..when i called my mom..which i already cried
i didn't drop a single tear
she made me feel like it was all my fault
and i can't said anything to defend my self
i just heard those words from right ear and out to the left ear..
bla bla bla..
i didn't hear every single F*CKING words from her
cause I'm SICK of it!!
i admit it it is my fault
but come on
i told you, and i think you should appreciate that
cause it's not an easy thing to tell you the truth
but she didn't care about me
all she's care about is
HER PRECIOUS CAR
it was like in the LORD OF THE RING
when the gollum (i forget how to write it) said
"MY PRECIOUS!!"
and said over and over and over again
i went to a mall with my two other friends
we played together at timezone
bla bla bla..
and we watched underworld movie..
which a nice film i think
well..it's not that bad
i think the girl is not pretty enough
and also the boy's not handsome enough
that's what i think
it went well until it's happening
when i park my car
of course i opened the gate first
and i put the car in
then i think i park it not straight enough
so..i when i was driving my car backward
unbelievable..the wind moves the gate inside
and hit my car..
i was very panic even until now and so afraid
the fact is the car has been hit by the gate
and the worse thing is i have to told my mom and dad about it
it's no problem with my dad..
the real problem is my mom
so..without thinking again
my dad was working,so i called my dad
and i said everything to him
he's so understand about it
he didn't mad at me
he just said some advices
like i should be more be careful next time or i should be more aware
and so on
he said that with no angry tone at all
i was so happy and i cried because he's so kind to me
and that's why i love my dad more than my mom
he can understand me, even sometimes he didn't
the he suggested i should call my mom and tell her about this
i said "yeah..I'll call her"
i think i should call her, too
'cause it's just make things worse if i don't tell her
until she figure it out by herself
after having some time to clear my mind and ready to be hear her shouting at me
and said something about bad about me,etc
i called her to her office
and tell her everything
she don't believe me with the explanation
she said "it's impossible the gate can damaged the car like that"
well..i just speechless and don't know what to say
and she's angry with me
but she kept her tone voice low..
cause she's in the office
she have to behave and be nice
and thanks for that, at least she didn't yell at me
and said some bad words that hurts me more
she said i have to paid for fix the damn car
(i can do that)
after that, my mom didn't say more and she turn off the phone
with her rudeness
and i didn't cried when i talked to her
but still i feel guilty about it
after 15 minutes..
my dad called me
he wants to see the car so he told me to take a picture
so i took it and send it to my dad
he send me a msg after that
dad : it's alright..as soon as i get home, I'll fix it,OK?..i didn't mad at you..cause this is an accident..and don't you mad to your mom,OK?
me : no i don't mad at you,dad..sorry to make you disappointed
(when i read the msg again..oops, i wrote it wrong..i should write "i don't mad at mom"..so i send him another msg)
me : i mean, i don't mad at mom
dad : so,are you mad a me?
me : no,dad..i don't mad with anybody..because this is my fault
dad : this is all not your fault..it was just an accident that you drove in a wrong time..if you hit somebody's car, it is a problem..OK?
me : OK..thanks dad
tomorrow i have to stay at my apartment
which is, there's where my mom stay at
so tonight i don't meet her
and i have to stay there
cause at Saturday's morning
I'll be on my way to visit my family from my dad's side
to be honest..
i really really don't wanna see her
and i mean it
i wish i don't have to meet her for 1 month
at least until she forget that she's angry with me
that's the difference between my mom and my dad
u see, when i called my dad
i wasn't cry at first
but when he said he didn't mad at me
it wasn't your fault
i just feel like this is what i wanna feel
i don't want to be yell at
he kinda cheering me up
and that makes me feel more guilty than before
but..when i called my mom..which i already cried
i didn't drop a single tear
she made me feel like it was all my fault
and i can't said anything to defend my self
i just heard those words from right ear and out to the left ear..
bla bla bla..
i didn't hear every single F*CKING words from her
cause I'm SICK of it!!
i admit it it is my fault
but come on
i told you, and i think you should appreciate that
cause it's not an easy thing to tell you the truth
but she didn't care about me
all she's care about is
HER PRECIOUS CAR
it was like in the LORD OF THE RING
when the gollum (i forget how to write it) said
"MY PRECIOUS!!"
and said over and over and over again
01 February 2009
happy and jealousy..mixed together
i never mention the name of this guy who I've written about from the first time, huh?
well, cause I'm afraid someone read this and recognize who he is
and tell him about my blog
and he read it
and he'll know what i feel about him for this whole time
so let's called him with his initial "G"
have u ever heard about viwawa game?
i bet you do!!
many people play that online games
there's a card game or chess or word puzzle and so on
yup!!I'm one of those player and G also play that games
in that game, we also can chat each other..it's like facebook
when you're online, u can chat with others who online too..
when i was playing card..
suddenly, there's a private chat..
and guess who
IT'S HIM!!!
he asked me to play with him
that i said yes!!
(of course yes..why should i say no??LoL)
honestly, I'm very excited with that.
really..it's like dream comes true to me..
and this is what i called happiness!!
after he made the room to play and i came in
there's someone who has been there before me
i thought he didn't know who is the other player
(player for each room is 4..it's big 2.5..)
when i called his name..
then the other player said something to him
as if they were talking before i got there
(and this is the beginning of my jealousy)
and he said to the GIRL (what??!!!a girl???)
"this is anast..mike's little sister"
wew..i know that girl
she's my brother's friends
i spoke to her once or twice or..
well the point is i know her
the other player came and the game start
as the game started, they're talking and i just watch them
and felt a little angry..LoL
(i know i know..it's been almost 2 years, and i not somebody for him so i can do nothing..which is SUCKS!!)
and i just said to him
"i gotta go..BB"
and i left the rooms
the next day
he asked me again to play together again
cause i thought there will be no girl in there
so i said OK..AGAIN
when i entered the room..
guess what??
both of the player (cause the rest is me and him)
are his friends at his campus..
a boy..and another one..with no surprising AGAIN..A GIRL
(why there are always a girl?? r u a playboy now?)
and as usual..those 3 humans (LoL) were talking each other
and AGAIN i just played and watch the talked and laugh
cause i cannot stand it anymore
and i really want to cry in that time
i said..
"my friend ask me to play along with..so BB"
then i left and i shut down my laptop
and i guess u know what i did after that
it's like 2 feelings which are like positive and negative
mixed into one
and it's hard to write that kind of feeling into words
because it's to painful
well, cause I'm afraid someone read this and recognize who he is
and tell him about my blog
and he read it
and he'll know what i feel about him for this whole time
so let's called him with his initial "G"
have u ever heard about viwawa game?
i bet you do!!
many people play that online games
there's a card game or chess or word puzzle and so on
yup!!I'm one of those player and G also play that games
in that game, we also can chat each other..it's like facebook
when you're online, u can chat with others who online too..
when i was playing card..
suddenly, there's a private chat..
and guess who
IT'S HIM!!!
he asked me to play with him
that i said yes!!
(of course yes..why should i say no??LoL)
honestly, I'm very excited with that.
really..it's like dream comes true to me..
and this is what i called happiness!!
after he made the room to play and i came in
there's someone who has been there before me
i thought he didn't know who is the other player
(player for each room is 4..it's big 2.5..)
when i called his name..
then the other player said something to him
as if they were talking before i got there
(and this is the beginning of my jealousy)
and he said to the GIRL (what??!!!a girl???)
"this is anast..mike's little sister"
wew..i know that girl
she's my brother's friends
i spoke to her once or twice or..
well the point is i know her
the other player came and the game start
as the game started, they're talking and i just watch them
and felt a little angry..LoL
(i know i know..it's been almost 2 years, and i not somebody for him so i can do nothing..which is SUCKS!!)
and i just said to him
"i gotta go..BB"
and i left the rooms
the next day
he asked me again to play together again
cause i thought there will be no girl in there
so i said OK..AGAIN
when i entered the room..
guess what??
both of the player (cause the rest is me and him)
are his friends at his campus..
a boy..and another one..with no surprising AGAIN..A GIRL
(why there are always a girl?? r u a playboy now?)
and as usual..those 3 humans (LoL) were talking each other
and AGAIN i just played and watch the talked and laugh
cause i cannot stand it anymore
and i really want to cry in that time
i said..
"my friend ask me to play along with..so BB"
then i left and i shut down my laptop
and i guess u know what i did after that
it's like 2 feelings which are like positive and negative
mixed into one
and it's hard to write that kind of feeling into words
because it's to painful
on 1st feb..happy sunday or what?
maybe I'll go with the "WHAT"!!!!
hell yeah!!!
well..here's the story
when i woke up..
nothing's happened unusual
and i went to church
because I'm a Sunday school teacher
(teach kids at church)
so i have to come there to there at 7.30 a.m
to join the others to pray together
then i looked at the schedule
I'll be working as administrator
and what i do is
i count the amount of kids
and so on
and i was working that by my own
(this is the 1st f*cking moment)
then a guy (a teacher Sunday school also) name EDY, came after me
(which is he did once send me a msg, and i didn't reply it)
he asked for a hand
well, i do have a pity on him
so i let him helped me to give a absence list to each class
(there's 11 classes,and just helped me for only 2 minutes,and i tried my best to get away from him so he wouldn't have a chance to ask me for another help..LoL)
personally,he's very ugly and kind a nerd
i really don't like him
if i could i would get away from him as far as i can
i just with him when i really need to
if i don't
why the hell i have to speak with him
and the day finally over
before i went to home
we have to pray together again before we all go home
bla bla bla
things went as usual
and at the night..
the second thing what happened to, which i wish it never happen
another guy from Sunday school name TRONLY
(which i never like either..and i don't wanna try to like..
this is what i think about him and it's absolutely correct..
his name and his face is look the same..his name is TRONLY, which his face look like a TROLL!!do u ever seen harry potter when he fight a TROLL??his face is exactly like that!!VERY HORRIBLE)
send me a msg..and this is what he said
TROLL GUY : "hai, anast..this is TROLL (let's call him TROLL)..today u worked as administrator, right??"
(cause i think he's gonna talk something important,so i replied it)
me : "yup..what's wrong?"
TROLL GUY : "nothing..i'm just asking..cause i saw u seems often walked through my class..u looked different today"
(what the hell he's talking about..I'm a administrator..it's common to go to every classes to see how things going on)
me : "so as a administrator, i can't see what's happen in each class, which that's why i suppose to do as admin??"
TROLL GUY : "btw,today you look so cute when u'r smiling..but don't be so overconfident"
(what the f*ck??!!! #$%^&^%$#@!@#$$#@#$%%$#@!@#$%^&*(*()(*&^%$#@$%^%$#@#$%^!!!!!!!! too much censor)
me : "why do i have to be overconfident"
TROLL GUY : "OK..sorry to disturbed you"
(i really want to get really mad at him..but i try to not to)
me : "u did disturb me..btw, could u please don't send me a msg if it's not important? cause it's just wasting my money"
then he didn't replied it
well..
before i send the msg
i asked my friend..
is it good idea if i reply it like that?
i do try to not write a bad word, which i want to
but if i just said to him 'that's ok', it's not making me happy..i wanna him to understand that i really don't like him, and i want him to know that i DO NOT WANNA KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM..so DON'T EVEN HOPE FOR KNOWING ME!!!
but, in the end, i did write that
but I'm not that happy cause i thought i haven't use at least one bad word at all..
i wish he never speak to me again
if he dare to send me a useless or unimportant msg again
i swear i'll write all the bad words i ever know to him..
and curse him again and again!
(i admit that i'm not a good girl)
hell yeah!!!
well..here's the story
when i woke up..
nothing's happened unusual
and i went to church
because I'm a Sunday school teacher
(teach kids at church)
so i have to come there to there at 7.30 a.m
to join the others to pray together
then i looked at the schedule
I'll be working as administrator
and what i do is
i count the amount of kids
and so on
and i was working that by my own
(this is the 1st f*cking moment)
then a guy (a teacher Sunday school also) name EDY, came after me
(which is he did once send me a msg, and i didn't reply it)
he asked for a hand
well, i do have a pity on him
so i let him helped me to give a absence list to each class
(there's 11 classes,and just helped me for only 2 minutes,and i tried my best to get away from him so he wouldn't have a chance to ask me for another help..LoL)
personally,he's very ugly and kind a nerd
i really don't like him
if i could i would get away from him as far as i can
i just with him when i really need to
if i don't
why the hell i have to speak with him
and the day finally over
before i went to home
we have to pray together again before we all go home
bla bla bla
things went as usual
and at the night..
the second thing what happened to, which i wish it never happen
another guy from Sunday school name TRONLY
(which i never like either..and i don't wanna try to like..
this is what i think about him and it's absolutely correct..
his name and his face is look the same..his name is TRONLY, which his face look like a TROLL!!do u ever seen harry potter when he fight a TROLL??his face is exactly like that!!VERY HORRIBLE)
send me a msg..and this is what he said
TROLL GUY : "hai, anast..this is TROLL (let's call him TROLL)..today u worked as administrator, right??"
(cause i think he's gonna talk something important,so i replied it)
me : "yup..what's wrong?"
TROLL GUY : "nothing..i'm just asking..cause i saw u seems often walked through my class..u looked different today"
(what the hell he's talking about..I'm a administrator..it's common to go to every classes to see how things going on)
me : "so as a administrator, i can't see what's happen in each class, which that's why i suppose to do as admin??"
TROLL GUY : "btw,today you look so cute when u'r smiling..but don't be so overconfident"
(what the f*ck??!!! #$%^&^%$#@!@#$$#@#$%%$#@!@#$%^&*(*()(*&^%$#@$%^%$#@#$%^!!!!!!!! too much censor)
me : "why do i have to be overconfident"
TROLL GUY : "OK..sorry to disturbed you"
(i really want to get really mad at him..but i try to not to)
me : "u did disturb me..btw, could u please don't send me a msg if it's not important? cause it's just wasting my money"
then he didn't replied it
well..
before i send the msg
i asked my friend..
is it good idea if i reply it like that?
i do try to not write a bad word, which i want to
but if i just said to him 'that's ok', it's not making me happy..i wanna him to understand that i really don't like him, and i want him to know that i DO NOT WANNA KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM..so DON'T EVEN HOPE FOR KNOWING ME!!!
but, in the end, i did write that
but I'm not that happy cause i thought i haven't use at least one bad word at all..
i wish he never speak to me again
if he dare to send me a useless or unimportant msg again
i swear i'll write all the bad words i ever know to him..
and curse him again and again!
(i admit that i'm not a good girl)
THE FREEDOM!!
unbelievable!!
the school has finally done
and it's my free time to do whatever i want
(not exactly what i want)
and according to my plan
i went to mall my friends
and was driving by myself
and the best thing is..
no one knows it except my friends
LOL
can't wait to see what's gonna happen during my holiday
hope it's a good one
the school has finally done
and it's my free time to do whatever i want
(not exactly what i want)
and according to my plan
i went to mall my friends
and was driving by myself
and the best thing is..
no one knows it except my friends
LOL
can't wait to see what's gonna happen during my holiday
hope it's a good one
29 January 2009
tomorrow's free time!!
tomorrow will be the last day of final exam!!
damn!!this is what i've been waiting for the whole week
and
finally..it come at last
LoL
here's the plan
after we finished the test,i'll hang out with my friends
i know my mom wont let me driving by my self
except if i go to school
so,i'm going to take the car with me
and hopefully
my mom don't about know it..LoL
and for the last day
it is very hard subject (for me)
well
it's not hard
i'm just lazy to study
LoL
i haven't study yet
and i don't know what to learn
that's another factor that makes me more lazy..LoL
i hope i have enough time to finished it and pass the test
i'm just hoping tomorrow's plan will be great
without that freak girl!!
damn!!this is what i've been waiting for the whole week
and
finally..it come at last
LoL
here's the plan
after we finished the test,i'll hang out with my friends
i know my mom wont let me driving by my self
except if i go to school
so,i'm going to take the car with me
and hopefully
my mom don't about know it..LoL
and for the last day
it is very hard subject (for me)
well
it's not hard
i'm just lazy to study
LoL
i haven't study yet
and i don't know what to learn
that's another factor that makes me more lazy..LoL
i hope i have enough time to finished it and pass the test
i'm just hoping tomorrow's plan will be great
without that freak girl!!
that freak !?!
oo ya!!
do you know about her??
well, i guess u don't cause i haven't speak a word about her, right?
she's weird
actually she's not weird but i think she is
cause she likes to show off
very very very very show off!!
(man!!do you have a mirror??)
she like to sing in a class to show us she has a great voice
(which her voice is so lame and like a B*TCH!!)
she like to act like she's the smartest in the class
(which she doesn't..well,me and my friends,who don't like her too,got a better score than her)
she like to wear a tight shirt and some girly stuff
(which made her look more fat than anyone else and her ass become more bigger cause that tight things)
she like to make a weird voice or laugh
(which like she wants to get attention in a class..owh please!!!)
yup!!
the point is
i don't like her and hate her very much
well
she doesn't have any problem with me
yet....but i still hate her..
LoL
i mean..i have some problem with her
but not that big
like,when i was speaking with my friend
and she don't like that
then she ask my friend (the one who i spoke with)
to go somewhere ..e.g toilet
i mean
come on!!i was discussing about something here
don't be such a disturbing girl!!
and i really don't like if she's show off about her car
she's driving herself
and when she's driving
man!!very slow even the street was not so crowded
it's like i'm gonna be old woman after we arrived
and another case between me and her
was happening today
that's when the test was not start yet
when i came,i saw her with my friend (i'm OK with it)
looked like they don't understand something
and my friend asked me (which understand it)
when i was explaining to my friend
she didn't listen to me (i don't have a prob with that)
but the prob is
when i finished explain it
she ask my friend to explain it again to her
than my friend said to her
"just now anast explain it..why u don't listen..now i have to explain it to you"
yup!!why don't you listen to me from the beginning
please don't be such an *ssh*le
don't act like you'r the prettiest girl
the sexiest girl
or whatever
especially in front of me
do you know about her??
well, i guess u don't cause i haven't speak a word about her, right?
she's weird
actually she's not weird but i think she is
cause she likes to show off
very very very very show off!!
(man!!do you have a mirror??)
she like to sing in a class to show us she has a great voice
(which her voice is so lame and like a B*TCH!!)
she like to act like she's the smartest in the class
(which she doesn't..well,me and my friends,who don't like her too,got a better score than her)
she like to wear a tight shirt and some girly stuff
(which made her look more fat than anyone else and her ass become more bigger cause that tight things)
she like to make a weird voice or laugh
(which like she wants to get attention in a class..owh please!!!)
yup!!
the point is
i don't like her and hate her very much
well
she doesn't have any problem with me
yet....but i still hate her..
LoL
i mean..i have some problem with her
but not that big
like,when i was speaking with my friend
and she don't like that
then she ask my friend (the one who i spoke with)
to go somewhere ..e.g toilet
i mean
come on!!i was discussing about something here
don't be such a disturbing girl!!
and i really don't like if she's show off about her car
she's driving herself
and when she's driving
man!!very slow even the street was not so crowded
it's like i'm gonna be old woman after we arrived
and another case between me and her
was happening today
that's when the test was not start yet
when i came,i saw her with my friend (i'm OK with it)
looked like they don't understand something
and my friend asked me (which understand it)
when i was explaining to my friend
she didn't listen to me (i don't have a prob with that)
but the prob is
when i finished explain it
she ask my friend to explain it again to her
than my friend said to her
"just now anast explain it..why u don't listen..now i have to explain it to you"
yup!!why don't you listen to me from the beginning
please don't be such an *ssh*le
don't act like you'r the prettiest girl
the sexiest girl
or whatever
especially in front of me
26 January 2009
if i could, i would sing this song for you
I can honestly say
You've been on my mind
Since I woke up today, up today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don't mind
I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember the simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget is goodbye
I woke up this morning
And played our song
And through my tears sang along
I picked up the phone
And then put it down
Cause I know I'm wasting my time
And I don't mind
I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember the simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget is goodbye
(and this part of song is REALLY NOT GOING TO happen to me)
Suddenly my cell phone's blowing up
With your ring-tone
I hesitate but answer it anyway
You sound so alone
I'm surprised to hear you say
You remember when we kissed
You still feel it on your lips
The time that you danced with me with no music playing
You remember the simple things
We talked till he cried
You said that your biggest regret
The one thing you wish I'd forget
Was saying goodbye
Saying goodbye
Oh, goodbye
by miley cyrus - goodbye
You've been on my mind
Since I woke up today, up today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don't mind
I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember the simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget is goodbye
I woke up this morning
And played our song
And through my tears sang along
I picked up the phone
And then put it down
Cause I know I'm wasting my time
And I don't mind
I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember the simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget is goodbye
(and this part of song is REALLY NOT GOING TO happen to me)
Suddenly my cell phone's blowing up
With your ring-tone
I hesitate but answer it anyway
You sound so alone
I'm surprised to hear you say
You remember when we kissed
You still feel it on your lips
The time that you danced with me with no music playing
You remember the simple things
We talked till he cried
You said that your biggest regret
The one thing you wish I'd forget
Was saying goodbye
Saying goodbye
Oh, goodbye
by miley cyrus - goodbye
did miracle already happen to me?
today is a lunar new year
(btw, happy lunar new year all)
at midnight before Lunar new year
i send a sms to several my friends to say happy lunar new year
well
of course i already prepared a sms for him
(even though is much shorter and just wrote "(some Chinese language) happy lunar new year..GBU (my name)")
at that day i was having my 1st day of final exam,ecomomics
when i already finished my work and sit outside and wait for my friends
i received a sms, and when i read where i get the sms from
IT'S FROM HIM!!!
(to be honest) AND I'M SOO EXCITED
at the first time, he just replied with an ordinary sms
but when i replied ASAP (ugh!!)
the more we sms-ing, the more our language became more close
we talked like it's used to be
he remember about the time when he came to my home
and my dog ate his sandal..LOL
I REALLY MISS that time
i wish our story never ends
but the truth is not..
but at least..can we be friend again?
and if we can, can we be more than friend?
well..i don't think it will happen
but i'm glad we talked each other even through sms for a while
yeaah..i'm glad
(btw, happy lunar new year all)
at midnight before Lunar new year
i send a sms to several my friends to say happy lunar new year
well
of course i already prepared a sms for him
(even though is much shorter and just wrote "(some Chinese language) happy lunar new year..GBU (my name)")
at that day i was having my 1st day of final exam,ecomomics
when i already finished my work and sit outside and wait for my friends
i received a sms, and when i read where i get the sms from
IT'S FROM HIM!!!
(to be honest) AND I'M SOO EXCITED
at the first time, he just replied with an ordinary sms
but when i replied ASAP (ugh!!)
the more we sms-ing, the more our language became more close
we talked like it's used to be
he remember about the time when he came to my home
and my dog ate his sandal..LOL
I REALLY MISS that time
i wish our story never ends
but the truth is not..
but at least..can we be friend again?
and if we can, can we be more than friend?
well..i don't think it will happen
but i'm glad we talked each other even through sms for a while
yeaah..i'm glad
about HIM
there's not much to tell about him
the thing is
after i broke up with him for about one and a half year
i still love him
i still miss him
i still want him back
not as a friend i want
i want more than that
but i know
it is not going to happen
and it will not be ever happen to me
and the worse thing is
even i know it will never happen to me
but i am STILL hoping it for happen
silly of me!!
the thing is
after i broke up with him for about one and a half year
i still love him
i still miss him
i still want him back
not as a friend i want
i want more than that
but i know
it is not going to happen
and it will not be ever happen to me
and the worse thing is
even i know it will never happen to me
but i am STILL hoping it for happen
silly of me!!
tragedy in one night..one of my mom's idiotic
last night was a big disaster that happened to my family
and today some good some really not good
so let me tell u all of it
last night, me and my family were having some kind of family gathering
but some family members did not come
and all of us went to my grandma's house
i thought that night, every body will happy
and it's not happened like i was imagined
oh yaa
i forgot to mention this
at the first time
there is a problem happened already before i came there
my mother's older sister got pregnant AGAIN
before they got married first
and the guy who made her pregnant
has already have 4 children and not yet divorce with his first wife
but they live separately
well,i don't know how much exactly he has a wife
but as far as i know (or maybe HE DIDN'T TOLD US HOW MANY HE GOT)
he just have one..
and she IS STILL LIVING IN MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE!!
my mom's really angry with her and the guy who made her like that
what my mom wants is if they want to live together even without grandma's and the other family member's bless
they have to get out from my grandma's house and find somewhere else to live in with her kid, her new baby, and of course with that bastard..
let's continue the story
when we all arrived at grandma's
the situation and condition is still good
so much love in the air
(but not my mom's love..LOL)
then my mom's sister came and also bring that THINK (i mean her BF, almost her husband,btw..well,they had sex more than once i think..LOL)
she's waiting outside 'cause she's too afraid to see my mom
(know you know how evil my mom is, even her own older sister afraid to her)
and then, that guy came to the house and offer a shake hand to my mom
(wow!!what a good move)
without saying anything nice,my mom said
"GET OUT!!"
(with her face which is like a devil?? well, i think so..LOL)
and he stepped outside and my auntie asked him to leave the house
when she's gone..the unbelievable thing my mom did is
YELLING at my GRANDMA!!!
she's just yelling, yelling, and yelling to grandma
until grandma was out of control
she just screamed like someone wants to kill her
and said to her self
"GOD!!PLEASE TAKE ME NOW!!I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!I WANNA DIE!!"
me and the rest of my cousins and nieces, and also my dad (which are not involved to this problem) just watched and listened..
my other auntie who's younger that my mom
try to settle down her mother in her room
then not long enough me and my cousins and nieces
came to grandma's room and try to make her happy
we laughed together, share some funny stories they have
it was so fun!!we were laughing all the time..
but my grandma didn't smile at all
but somehow i know
she feel a little bit warm in her heart
sometimes i can't think why my mom can do such thing like that
i mean..it was very horrible..
and today some good some really not good
so let me tell u all of it
last night, me and my family were having some kind of family gathering
but some family members did not come
and all of us went to my grandma's house
i thought that night, every body will happy
and it's not happened like i was imagined
oh yaa
i forgot to mention this
at the first time
there is a problem happened already before i came there
my mother's older sister got pregnant AGAIN
before they got married first
and the guy who made her pregnant
has already have 4 children and not yet divorce with his first wife
but they live separately
well,i don't know how much exactly he has a wife
but as far as i know (or maybe HE DIDN'T TOLD US HOW MANY HE GOT)
he just have one..
and she IS STILL LIVING IN MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE!!
my mom's really angry with her and the guy who made her like that
what my mom wants is if they want to live together even without grandma's and the other family member's bless
they have to get out from my grandma's house and find somewhere else to live in with her kid, her new baby, and of course with that bastard..
let's continue the story
when we all arrived at grandma's
the situation and condition is still good
so much love in the air
(but not my mom's love..LOL)
then my mom's sister came and also bring that THINK (i mean her BF, almost her husband,btw..well,they had sex more than once i think..LOL)
she's waiting outside 'cause she's too afraid to see my mom
(know you know how evil my mom is, even her own older sister afraid to her)
and then, that guy came to the house and offer a shake hand to my mom
(wow!!what a good move)
without saying anything nice,my mom said
"GET OUT!!"
(with her face which is like a devil?? well, i think so..LOL)
and he stepped outside and my auntie asked him to leave the house
when she's gone..the unbelievable thing my mom did is
YELLING at my GRANDMA!!!
she's just yelling, yelling, and yelling to grandma
until grandma was out of control
she just screamed like someone wants to kill her
and said to her self
"GOD!!PLEASE TAKE ME NOW!!I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!I WANNA DIE!!"
me and the rest of my cousins and nieces, and also my dad (which are not involved to this problem) just watched and listened..
my other auntie who's younger that my mom
try to settle down her mother in her room
then not long enough me and my cousins and nieces
came to grandma's room and try to make her happy
we laughed together, share some funny stories they have
it was so fun!!we were laughing all the time..
but my grandma didn't smile at all
but somehow i know
she feel a little bit warm in her heart
sometimes i can't think why my mom can do such thing like that
i mean..it was very horrible..
about my mom
i believe this is not suppose to be the first time i hate my mom
just because i start to write from the middle of my stories
so i will called it as chapter 1 and i'll begin with intro my mom
if you don't know who she is
just by looking at her, i bet you'll think that
she is a good women..very caring with her kids
and as we know she always have a problem with my dad
i don't know how
but she can made the whole story goes wrong
and make people thinks that my dad's the evil one
well, i can only say "THEY ABSOLUTELY DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY DAD!!AND ALSO MY MOM!!"
personally, my dad is a good man
but my mom? i think she's not
she's selfish, she's like to say something without thinking about it first
she's like to throw things when she's angry
yup!!like an animal or a beast..LoL
but sometimes i also hate my dad
but not for a long time
my dad is not selfish
he always give me and my bro some money
if we're run out of cash
and in the other hand, my mom, never ask if we still have money or not
so everybody who know who she is, have not know who she really is
just because i start to write from the middle of my stories
so i will called it as chapter 1 and i'll begin with intro my mom
if you don't know who she is
just by looking at her, i bet you'll think that
she is a good women..very caring with her kids
and as we know she always have a problem with my dad
i don't know how
but she can made the whole story goes wrong
and make people thinks that my dad's the evil one
well, i can only say "THEY ABSOLUTELY DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY DAD!!AND ALSO MY MOM!!"
personally, my dad is a good man
but my mom? i think she's not
she's selfish, she's like to say something without thinking about it first
she's like to throw things when she's angry
yup!!like an animal or a beast..LoL
but sometimes i also hate my dad
but not for a long time
my dad is not selfish
he always give me and my bro some money
if we're run out of cash
and in the other hand, my mom, never ask if we still have money or not
so everybody who know who she is, have not know who she really is
BACKGROUND
this is my background of my life
this is why i become like this
and this is why sometimes i hate every single living things
we all already know
if they got stress or frustration
maybe they think the only way out is...
what???
they do drugs
they do sex before married
they run away from their family
and you know what??
i'm one of those story
well,it's not that bad
but each person has their own story and this is mine
which i called nothing
to be honest
u can say that almost every week something bad happened to my family
both my parents yelled each other, they're beat each other
and i don't like that..
well, who does??
that's why i don't like my family that much
and i haven't feel my parent's care about me
i think they do care, but not as much as they think
(but now, my dad is not that bad, he was a bad dad for a long time ago..but NOW HE IS A GOOD DAD FOR ME..even sometimes he really pissed me off..but he's ok)
and this is only the beginning
than i grew up and at that time i was in junior high school
and someone liked me..
from that moment,i felt like i was special to someone
i felt like being love by someone who i love
and yup!!
we had a relationship about 9 months and we broke up
waw!! i was really sad at that time
and i never felt like i was being love by someone again
but, i'm just a kid at that time and don't understand what love really means
and i was really stupid for falling in love with that J*RK!!
yeah..stupidity..
then when i was in high school
i met this boy..
at the first time i saw him
i don't have a feeling to him yet of course..LOL
but after we know each other
i started to pay attention to him
not so cute for my friends but cute enough for me
not so handsome for my friends for very handsome for me
we're talking by phone or sms-ing
than that feeling fill my heart
a feel that made me felt like i'm special to him
a feel that made me felt like he love me and i love him
and really like that felling
than our relationship became more close
we were like BF and GF but he's not ask me to his GF yet
it's about half of year we having that kind of relations
and we had the real one
but not for a long time
just last for 3-4 months
then we broke up and never speak a word again
even until more than 1 year we broke,
and i'm still thinking about him till now
this is why i become like this
and this is why sometimes i hate every single living things
we all already know
if they got stress or frustration
maybe they think the only way out is...
what???
they do drugs
they do sex before married
they run away from their family
and you know what??
i'm one of those story
well,it's not that bad
but each person has their own story and this is mine
which i called nothing
to be honest
u can say that almost every week something bad happened to my family
both my parents yelled each other, they're beat each other
and i don't like that..
well, who does??
that's why i don't like my family that much
and i haven't feel my parent's care about me
i think they do care, but not as much as they think
(but now, my dad is not that bad, he was a bad dad for a long time ago..but NOW HE IS A GOOD DAD FOR ME..even sometimes he really pissed me off..but he's ok)
and this is only the beginning
than i grew up and at that time i was in junior high school
and someone liked me..
from that moment,i felt like i was special to someone
i felt like being love by someone who i love
and yup!!
we had a relationship about 9 months and we broke up
waw!! i was really sad at that time
and i never felt like i was being love by someone again
but, i'm just a kid at that time and don't understand what love really means
and i was really stupid for falling in love with that J*RK!!
yeah..stupidity..
then when i was in high school
i met this boy..
at the first time i saw him
i don't have a feeling to him yet of course..LOL
but after we know each other
i started to pay attention to him
not so cute for my friends but cute enough for me
not so handsome for my friends for very handsome for me
we're talking by phone or sms-ing
than that feeling fill my heart
a feel that made me felt like i'm special to him
a feel that made me felt like he love me and i love him
and really like that felling
than our relationship became more close
we were like BF and GF but he's not ask me to his GF yet
it's about half of year we having that kind of relations
and we had the real one
but not for a long time
just last for 3-4 months
then we broke up and never speak a word again
even until more than 1 year we broke,
and i'm still thinking about him till now
22 January 2009
Don't Cry Over Someone That Won't Cry Over You
No Guy Is Worth Your Tears & When You Find The One That Is He Won't Make You Cry
If You Really Love Something Set It Free.
If It Comes Back It's Yours, If Not It Wasn't Meant To Be
Some Day You'll Cry For Me Like I Cried For You,
Some Day You'll Miss Me Like I Missed You,
Some Day You'll Need Me Like I Needed You,
Some Day You'll Love Me But I Won't Love You
Time will make you forget me but time will make me love you more than before.
If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you.
If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will.
My heart longs for you, my soul dies for you,
my eyes cry for you, my empty arms reach out for you.
Forget who hurt you yesterday,
But don't forget who loves you tenderly today.
Love can make you happy but often times it hurts,
but love is only special when you give it to who its worth.
Boyfriends come and go, but friends are forever.
The hardest part of loving someone isknowing when to let go,
and knowing when to say goodbye.
No pleassure, no expressions just an illusion of what should of but wasnt.
I hate you for not letting me have you.
Forget the times he walked by, Forget the times he made you cry,
Forget the times he spoke your name, Remember now your not the same.
Forget the times he held your hand, Forget the sweet things if you can,
Forget the times & Don't pretend, Remember now he's just your friend.
The day you finally decide to love me will be the day
after the day I have given up on chasing you
I hate to see the one I love happy with somebody
but I surely hate it more to see the one I love unhappy with me...
I had a dream and it was about you ...
I smiled and recalled the memories we had ...
then I noticed a tear fell from my eyes ... you know why?
Coz in my dream you kissed me and said goodbye ..
If in this lifetime, I wont get to have you,
I'll make sure that if I meet you in my next life
I wont have to think twice on saying that
"I waited a lifetime to say I love you..."
Moving on is simple,
it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult
I dont miss him, I miss who I thought he was
If someone you love hurts you cry a river,
build a bridge, and get over it.
Never be sad for what is over,
just be glad that it was once yours.
Should I hate you because you hurt me?
Or should I love you because you made me feel special?
Deep down you know it's best for yourself,
but you hate the thought of him being with someone else.
Now I believe it when people say love is blind...
'cause I must have been blind to love a person like you.
Money can't mend a broken heart;
that's Love's job.
without enduring the pain
that comes with it once it is lost
The heart does heal and you will love like this again...
only when you do,
you will deny you ever felt like this before.
Why am I afraid to lose you when you're not even mine...
You will know that you love someone
when you want him to be happy.
Even if that means you're not a part of their happiness.
I was born the day you kissed me,
died the day you left me,
but lived for the time that you loved me
I will always love him,
I just won't love the way he treated me.
I cried when I knew I lost you,
afraid I had lost it all.
Then I realized that losing you,
didn't have to mean I lost me.
One day you will seek love
and be sorry that you threw mine away.
My heart only fought for what it wanted.
Now my heart is having to fight to let him go.
Now that I have loved so purely and deeply,
I have realized how lonely I really am.
Some people think that it's holding
on that makes one strong;
sometimes it's letting go.
You have to forgive to forget,
and forget, to feel again.
Don't ever give up if you still want to try,
Don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry.
Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know.
Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go.
You said you didn't want to see me get hurt,
so does that mean you closed your eyes when I cried?
Don't say we're not right for each other,
the way I see it, we're not meant for anyone else.
If the truth was told instead of a lie,
then the pain would go away sooner and not hurt as much.
from the person you once loved so much.
I wish I was a kid again,
because skinned knees are easier
to fix then broken hearts.
Oftentimes we say goodbye to the
person we love without wanting to.
Though that doesn’t mean that
we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care.
Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you.
It's like my mind knows what's right
but my heart is being retarded and still cares
If tears could build a stairway on memories alone,
I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again.
Ask me how many times my heart has been broken
and I will tell you to look in the sky and count the stars.
What if whats best for "us"
Is whats hardest to do
I still love you but,
I have to let you go
when will it stop
the pain
that darkness
that that that
that part of me
that was or Y-O-U!
why can't you fill it
why did u leave
why why why?
love hurts
but so does life
Why is it easy to fall in love and
yet so hard to be loved back?
why should I feel such if destiny
permits me not?
why do I have to fall if it's you I cant have?
why is there a "you" in "me"
but never a "me" in "you"?
How can I lose something that I never had?
It hurts the most when you
can actually feel your heart breaking.
True love never dies as we see in our eyes,
only when we let go that we can truly say goodbye.
She's got him falling head over heels
for her and I can't even get him to stumble..
Love can sometimes be magic.
But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion.
When you are in love and you get hurt, it’s like a cut...
it will heal, but there will always be a scar.
I miss you a little, I guess you could say,
a little too much, a little too often,
and a little more each day.
If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not eno
Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.
Now join your hands,and with your hands your hearts
I wish I had the guts to walk away
and forget about what we had.
But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me,
and I guess that's what hurts the most.
Loving you was easy,
losing you was hard.
Loving you is still easy,
but knowing you are no longer mine,
is the hardest of it all.
If you could choose between life and death
you would almost rather die,
love is fun but hurts so much
the price you pay is high.
And so I say don't fall in love,
you will get hurt before your through.
You see my friend, I ought to know,
I fell in love with you.
I thought I'd forget you, but I guess I forgot to.
You hurt me more than I deserve,
how can you be so cruel?
I love you more than you deserve,
why am I such a fool?
It's amazing how you make your face just like a wall,
how you take your heart and turn it off,
how I turn my head and lose it all.
Every few nights or so you pop into my dreams,
I just can't get rid of you like you got rid of me.
Days continue to pass, stars continue to shine.
Why do I have tears in my eyes today
when he was NEVER mine?
If I could be anyone at this moment,
I'd be her so you'd love me too.
Should I smile because he's my friend,
or cry because that's all he is?
Love that we can not have is the one that last the longest,
hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.
When you're near it seems that I took you for granted,
but now that distance is between us,
it made me realized that your love has been a part of my life.
Nobody said it was easy;
it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy...
no one ever said it would be this hard.
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