firstly i wanna tell u that
at my school
there's no rule about what kind of clothes u can't wear, etc
it's free if you wanna wear hot pants and T-shirt, for example
but, my mom still thing like an old school brain
she don't allow me to wear some hot pants to school
even though,i often changed my long pants (eeww..)
to hot pants at toilet in the basement
so my mom won't know it
at the morning when i have to go to school to receive my result
i forgot to bring long pants..
all I've got is hot pants
which i guessed, my mom wouldn't allow it
so i asked her if she have any pants that i could wear
and she said she didn't have any
so, i think I'm gonna wear Bali's pants
and she yelled at me
"i paid for your school that expensive, not because you can humiliate yourself by wearing that pants!!"
WTF?!!
hellooww..
i just go to my school
receive the result
and that's all!!!
why do i have to look formal just because of that??
i think it's not necessary at all
she kept yelling at me
and finally she allowed me to wear the hot pants
then me and my dad have to drop her off to her office
and all the time we're otw to her office
she's still saying the thing
at the first time, i was planning to stay at her apartment this week
but after she said such things at me
i was thinking that i wanna go home today!!
not tomorrow not the day after tomorrow
but today!!after receiving the result
i wanna go home!!
after my mom out of the car
i said to my dad
"i wanna go home, can u please drop me off there?"
then my dad, said OK
so i went home
i left my result at her apartment,so she can know the result
that day,,she didn't call me or send me a msg just to say
"I'm proud of you..you've got some great score and the scholarship..it's great!keep up the good work"
or give me a reward or something (that one is my wish..LoL)
then the next day (today)
i went to her apartment (she already at her office)
and found a letter at the top of my result
well, it's for my dad
but after he read that,i looked at it and read it, too
the point is..she said that my dad did what she think it's not necessary
that can cause a problem between them
yup!!
that's my mom
who think she is the GOD of the family
(i mean the entire family, big family, inc my grandma and so on)
who think she is the best
who think she always right
who think she is the one who have more salary than the others of the family member and because of that she can do everything she wants
and she think she have all the power to control the whole family
which i think it's sucks!!
i wish i can get a picture of her devil's face
and print it out in a big size of picture
and put it one at her office
each one of the church she sing for
(she's a worship leader, so she sing at several places..
a worship leader without a heart and only have a heart at Sunday)
and i wish i could record it and play it at her office and the church
so everyone at the church and her office would know what kind of mother she is
11 February 2009
My wonderful result
10th February..
i received my result for the second semester
of international foundation program
and guess what?i got scholarship for A$1000!!
yeaahh!!
now, I'm a diploma student
I've got 2 High Distinction and 2 Credit
how cool is that,huh?
just a few hours before, i spoke to my agent
he said the score is good and i have to keep it up
my dad said he's proud of me
and my mom haven't say anything to me......yet
about the result
although she already saw it
surprise....surprise.....
yeah....what a surprise.....
(do i have to make my face look like a surprise's face?)
you have make me disappoint,mom!
that's true..
why did i can say such thing?
cause,when my mom's having her b'day
and my brother (i think) forgot about that day
she said that he made her disappointed
well..you did the same thing,mom
congratulation to you
i received my result for the second semester
of international foundation program
and guess what?i got scholarship for A$1000!!
yeaahh!!
now, I'm a diploma student
I've got 2 High Distinction and 2 Credit
how cool is that,huh?
just a few hours before, i spoke to my agent
he said the score is good and i have to keep it up
my dad said he's proud of me
and my mom haven't say anything to me......yet
about the result
although she already saw it
surprise....surprise.....
yeah....what a surprise.....
(do i have to make my face look like a surprise's face?)
you have make me disappoint,mom!
that's true..
why did i can say such thing?
cause,when my mom's having her b'day
and my brother (i think) forgot about that day
she said that he made her disappointed
well..you did the same thing,mom
congratulation to you
05 February 2009
no longer as a single?? WTF!!
it was tomorrow when i went to my old school
to say hay to my old friends and some teachers there
after that
i went to Melka's house with Vina
both are my best friends since high school
then
after i heard about everything that happens since i moved to another school
they said..
"hey Anast..i wanna tell you something..i was playing facebook at that time
and i checked your ex boyfriend's (it means G's)..and i saw his the status is NO LONGER AS A SINGLE"
MOTHER-F >,<
i was so shocked and surprised
does he already has someone to love?
does he already have a girl?
or what?
i wanna know
really
i don't know how he can forget everything about me
i still wonder..
does he still thinking about me?
does he still remember the things when we were together?
how could you forget about me
how could you forget about our memories
how could you do all that with pleasure and fun?
i don't understand
and i don't want to
i have to move on...
that's what all my friends said to me
but it's hard
really really hard
i even tried to like someone but i can't
they're not like you
they're not you
how can i love somebody?
the one i like is you
do you know it?
do you realize that?
no, you don't
cause you don't even care about me at all
you don't even wanna know how things goes on with me
you just thinking about yourself!!
you jerk!!
I'm a stupid to fall in love with you
to say hay to my old friends and some teachers there
after that
i went to Melka's house with Vina
both are my best friends since high school
then
after i heard about everything that happens since i moved to another school
they said..
"hey Anast..i wanna tell you something..i was playing facebook at that time
and i checked your ex boyfriend's (it means G's)..and i saw his the status is NO LONGER AS A SINGLE"
MOTHER-F >,<
i was so shocked and surprised
does he already has someone to love?
does he already have a girl?
or what?
i wanna know
really
i don't know how he can forget everything about me
i still wonder..
does he still thinking about me?
does he still remember the things when we were together?
how could you forget about me
how could you forget about our memories
how could you do all that with pleasure and fun?
i don't understand
and i don't want to
i have to move on...
that's what all my friends said to me
but it's hard
really really hard
i even tried to like someone but i can't
they're not like you
they're not you
how can i love somebody?
the one i like is you
do you know it?
do you realize that?
no, you don't
cause you don't even care about me at all
you don't even wanna know how things goes on with me
you just thinking about yourself!!
you jerk!!
I'm a stupid to fall in love with you
one of my idiotic.. >,<
today
i went to a mall with my two other friends
we played together at timezone
bla bla bla..
and we watched underworld movie..
which a nice film i think
well..it's not that bad
i think the girl is not pretty enough
and also the boy's not handsome enough
that's what i think
it went well until it's happening
when i park my car
of course i opened the gate first
and i put the car in
then i think i park it not straight enough
so..i when i was driving my car backward
unbelievable..the wind moves the gate inside
and hit my car..
i was very panic even until now and so afraid
the fact is the car has been hit by the gate
and the worse thing is i have to told my mom and dad about it
it's no problem with my dad..
the real problem is my mom
so..without thinking again
my dad was working,so i called my dad
and i said everything to him
he's so understand about it
he didn't mad at me
he just said some advices
like i should be more be careful next time or i should be more aware
and so on
he said that with no angry tone at all
i was so happy and i cried because he's so kind to me
and that's why i love my dad more than my mom
he can understand me, even sometimes he didn't
the he suggested i should call my mom and tell her about this
i said "yeah..I'll call her"
i think i should call her, too
'cause it's just make things worse if i don't tell her
until she figure it out by herself
after having some time to clear my mind and ready to be hear her shouting at me
and said something about bad about me,etc
i called her to her office
and tell her everything
she don't believe me with the explanation
she said "it's impossible the gate can damaged the car like that"
well..i just speechless and don't know what to say
and she's angry with me
but she kept her tone voice low..
cause she's in the office
she have to behave and be nice
and thanks for that, at least she didn't yell at me
and said some bad words that hurts me more
she said i have to paid for fix the damn car
(i can do that)
after that, my mom didn't say more and she turn off the phone
with her rudeness
and i didn't cried when i talked to her
but still i feel guilty about it
after 15 minutes..
my dad called me
he wants to see the car so he told me to take a picture
so i took it and send it to my dad
he send me a msg after that
dad : it's alright..as soon as i get home, I'll fix it,OK?..i didn't mad at you..cause this is an accident..and don't you mad to your mom,OK?
me : no i don't mad at you,dad..sorry to make you disappointed
(when i read the msg again..oops, i wrote it wrong..i should write "i don't mad at mom"..so i send him another msg)
me : i mean, i don't mad at mom
dad : so,are you mad a me?
me : no,dad..i don't mad with anybody..because this is my fault
dad : this is all not your fault..it was just an accident that you drove in a wrong time..if you hit somebody's car, it is a problem..OK?
me : OK..thanks dad
tomorrow i have to stay at my apartment
which is, there's where my mom stay at
so tonight i don't meet her
and i have to stay there
cause at Saturday's morning
I'll be on my way to visit my family from my dad's side
to be honest..
i really really don't wanna see her
and i mean it
i wish i don't have to meet her for 1 month
at least until she forget that she's angry with me
that's the difference between my mom and my dad
u see, when i called my dad
i wasn't cry at first
but when he said he didn't mad at me
it wasn't your fault
i just feel like this is what i wanna feel
i don't want to be yell at
he kinda cheering me up
and that makes me feel more guilty than before
but..when i called my mom..which i already cried
i didn't drop a single tear
she made me feel like it was all my fault
and i can't said anything to defend my self
i just heard those words from right ear and out to the left ear..
bla bla bla..
i didn't hear every single F*CKING words from her
cause I'm SICK of it!!
i admit it it is my fault
but come on
i told you, and i think you should appreciate that
cause it's not an easy thing to tell you the truth
but she didn't care about me
all she's care about is
HER PRECIOUS CAR
it was like in the LORD OF THE RING
when the gollum (i forget how to write it) said
"MY PRECIOUS!!"
and said over and over and over again
i went to a mall with my two other friends
we played together at timezone
bla bla bla..
and we watched underworld movie..
which a nice film i think
well..it's not that bad
i think the girl is not pretty enough
and also the boy's not handsome enough
that's what i think
it went well until it's happening
when i park my car
of course i opened the gate first
and i put the car in
then i think i park it not straight enough
so..i when i was driving my car backward
unbelievable..the wind moves the gate inside
and hit my car..
i was very panic even until now and so afraid
the fact is the car has been hit by the gate
and the worse thing is i have to told my mom and dad about it
it's no problem with my dad..
the real problem is my mom
so..without thinking again
my dad was working,so i called my dad
and i said everything to him
he's so understand about it
he didn't mad at me
he just said some advices
like i should be more be careful next time or i should be more aware
and so on
he said that with no angry tone at all
i was so happy and i cried because he's so kind to me
and that's why i love my dad more than my mom
he can understand me, even sometimes he didn't
the he suggested i should call my mom and tell her about this
i said "yeah..I'll call her"
i think i should call her, too
'cause it's just make things worse if i don't tell her
until she figure it out by herself
after having some time to clear my mind and ready to be hear her shouting at me
and said something about bad about me,etc
i called her to her office
and tell her everything
she don't believe me with the explanation
she said "it's impossible the gate can damaged the car like that"
well..i just speechless and don't know what to say
and she's angry with me
but she kept her tone voice low..
cause she's in the office
she have to behave and be nice
and thanks for that, at least she didn't yell at me
and said some bad words that hurts me more
she said i have to paid for fix the damn car
(i can do that)
after that, my mom didn't say more and she turn off the phone
with her rudeness
and i didn't cried when i talked to her
but still i feel guilty about it
after 15 minutes..
my dad called me
he wants to see the car so he told me to take a picture
so i took it and send it to my dad
he send me a msg after that
dad : it's alright..as soon as i get home, I'll fix it,OK?..i didn't mad at you..cause this is an accident..and don't you mad to your mom,OK?
me : no i don't mad at you,dad..sorry to make you disappointed
(when i read the msg again..oops, i wrote it wrong..i should write "i don't mad at mom"..so i send him another msg)
me : i mean, i don't mad at mom
dad : so,are you mad a me?
me : no,dad..i don't mad with anybody..because this is my fault
dad : this is all not your fault..it was just an accident that you drove in a wrong time..if you hit somebody's car, it is a problem..OK?
me : OK..thanks dad
tomorrow i have to stay at my apartment
which is, there's where my mom stay at
so tonight i don't meet her
and i have to stay there
cause at Saturday's morning
I'll be on my way to visit my family from my dad's side
to be honest..
i really really don't wanna see her
and i mean it
i wish i don't have to meet her for 1 month
at least until she forget that she's angry with me
that's the difference between my mom and my dad
u see, when i called my dad
i wasn't cry at first
but when he said he didn't mad at me
it wasn't your fault
i just feel like this is what i wanna feel
i don't want to be yell at
he kinda cheering me up
and that makes me feel more guilty than before
but..when i called my mom..which i already cried
i didn't drop a single tear
she made me feel like it was all my fault
and i can't said anything to defend my self
i just heard those words from right ear and out to the left ear..
bla bla bla..
i didn't hear every single F*CKING words from her
cause I'm SICK of it!!
i admit it it is my fault
but come on
i told you, and i think you should appreciate that
cause it's not an easy thing to tell you the truth
but she didn't care about me
all she's care about is
HER PRECIOUS CAR
it was like in the LORD OF THE RING
when the gollum (i forget how to write it) said
"MY PRECIOUS!!"
and said over and over and over again
01 February 2009
happy and jealousy..mixed together
i never mention the name of this guy who I've written about from the first time, huh?
well, cause I'm afraid someone read this and recognize who he is
and tell him about my blog
and he read it
and he'll know what i feel about him for this whole time
so let's called him with his initial "G"
have u ever heard about viwawa game?
i bet you do!!
many people play that online games
there's a card game or chess or word puzzle and so on
yup!!I'm one of those player and G also play that games
in that game, we also can chat each other..it's like facebook
when you're online, u can chat with others who online too..
when i was playing card..
suddenly, there's a private chat..
and guess who
IT'S HIM!!!
he asked me to play with him
that i said yes!!
(of course yes..why should i say no??LoL)
honestly, I'm very excited with that.
really..it's like dream comes true to me..
and this is what i called happiness!!
after he made the room to play and i came in
there's someone who has been there before me
i thought he didn't know who is the other player
(player for each room is 4..it's big 2.5..)
when i called his name..
then the other player said something to him
as if they were talking before i got there
(and this is the beginning of my jealousy)
and he said to the GIRL (what??!!!a girl???)
"this is anast..mike's little sister"
wew..i know that girl
she's my brother's friends
i spoke to her once or twice or..
well the point is i know her
the other player came and the game start
as the game started, they're talking and i just watch them
and felt a little angry..LoL
(i know i know..it's been almost 2 years, and i not somebody for him so i can do nothing..which is SUCKS!!)
and i just said to him
"i gotta go..BB"
and i left the rooms
the next day
he asked me again to play together again
cause i thought there will be no girl in there
so i said OK..AGAIN
when i entered the room..
guess what??
both of the player (cause the rest is me and him)
are his friends at his campus..
a boy..and another one..with no surprising AGAIN..A GIRL
(why there are always a girl?? r u a playboy now?)
and as usual..those 3 humans (LoL) were talking each other
and AGAIN i just played and watch the talked and laugh
cause i cannot stand it anymore
and i really want to cry in that time
i said..
"my friend ask me to play along with..so BB"
then i left and i shut down my laptop
and i guess u know what i did after that
it's like 2 feelings which are like positive and negative
mixed into one
and it's hard to write that kind of feeling into words
because it's to painful
well, cause I'm afraid someone read this and recognize who he is
and tell him about my blog
and he read it
and he'll know what i feel about him for this whole time
so let's called him with his initial "G"
have u ever heard about viwawa game?
i bet you do!!
many people play that online games
there's a card game or chess or word puzzle and so on
yup!!I'm one of those player and G also play that games
in that game, we also can chat each other..it's like facebook
when you're online, u can chat with others who online too..
when i was playing card..
suddenly, there's a private chat..
and guess who
IT'S HIM!!!
he asked me to play with him
that i said yes!!
(of course yes..why should i say no??LoL)
honestly, I'm very excited with that.
really..it's like dream comes true to me..
and this is what i called happiness!!
after he made the room to play and i came in
there's someone who has been there before me
i thought he didn't know who is the other player
(player for each room is 4..it's big 2.5..)
when i called his name..
then the other player said something to him
as if they were talking before i got there
(and this is the beginning of my jealousy)
and he said to the GIRL (what??!!!a girl???)
"this is anast..mike's little sister"
wew..i know that girl
she's my brother's friends
i spoke to her once or twice or..
well the point is i know her
the other player came and the game start
as the game started, they're talking and i just watch them
and felt a little angry..LoL
(i know i know..it's been almost 2 years, and i not somebody for him so i can do nothing..which is SUCKS!!)
and i just said to him
"i gotta go..BB"
and i left the rooms
the next day
he asked me again to play together again
cause i thought there will be no girl in there
so i said OK..AGAIN
when i entered the room..
guess what??
both of the player (cause the rest is me and him)
are his friends at his campus..
a boy..and another one..with no surprising AGAIN..A GIRL
(why there are always a girl?? r u a playboy now?)
and as usual..those 3 humans (LoL) were talking each other
and AGAIN i just played and watch the talked and laugh
cause i cannot stand it anymore
and i really want to cry in that time
i said..
"my friend ask me to play along with..so BB"
then i left and i shut down my laptop
and i guess u know what i did after that
it's like 2 feelings which are like positive and negative
mixed into one
and it's hard to write that kind of feeling into words
because it's to painful
on 1st feb..happy sunday or what?
maybe I'll go with the "WHAT"!!!!
hell yeah!!!
well..here's the story
when i woke up..
nothing's happened unusual
and i went to church
because I'm a Sunday school teacher
(teach kids at church)
so i have to come there to there at 7.30 a.m
to join the others to pray together
then i looked at the schedule
I'll be working as administrator
and what i do is
i count the amount of kids
and so on
and i was working that by my own
(this is the 1st f*cking moment)
then a guy (a teacher Sunday school also) name EDY, came after me
(which is he did once send me a msg, and i didn't reply it)
he asked for a hand
well, i do have a pity on him
so i let him helped me to give a absence list to each class
(there's 11 classes,and just helped me for only 2 minutes,and i tried my best to get away from him so he wouldn't have a chance to ask me for another help..LoL)
personally,he's very ugly and kind a nerd
i really don't like him
if i could i would get away from him as far as i can
i just with him when i really need to
if i don't
why the hell i have to speak with him
and the day finally over
before i went to home
we have to pray together again before we all go home
bla bla bla
things went as usual
and at the night..
the second thing what happened to, which i wish it never happen
another guy from Sunday school name TRONLY
(which i never like either..and i don't wanna try to like..
this is what i think about him and it's absolutely correct..
his name and his face is look the same..his name is TRONLY, which his face look like a TROLL!!do u ever seen harry potter when he fight a TROLL??his face is exactly like that!!VERY HORRIBLE)
send me a msg..and this is what he said
TROLL GUY : "hai, anast..this is TROLL (let's call him TROLL)..today u worked as administrator, right??"
(cause i think he's gonna talk something important,so i replied it)
me : "yup..what's wrong?"
TROLL GUY : "nothing..i'm just asking..cause i saw u seems often walked through my class..u looked different today"
(what the hell he's talking about..I'm a administrator..it's common to go to every classes to see how things going on)
me : "so as a administrator, i can't see what's happen in each class, which that's why i suppose to do as admin??"
TROLL GUY : "btw,today you look so cute when u'r smiling..but don't be so overconfident"
(what the f*ck??!!! #$%^&^%$#@!@#$$#@#$%%$#@!@#$%^&*(*()(*&^%$#@$%^%$#@#$%^!!!!!!!! too much censor)
me : "why do i have to be overconfident"
TROLL GUY : "OK..sorry to disturbed you"
(i really want to get really mad at him..but i try to not to)
me : "u did disturb me..btw, could u please don't send me a msg if it's not important? cause it's just wasting my money"
then he didn't replied it
well..
before i send the msg
i asked my friend..
is it good idea if i reply it like that?
i do try to not write a bad word, which i want to
but if i just said to him 'that's ok', it's not making me happy..i wanna him to understand that i really don't like him, and i want him to know that i DO NOT WANNA KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM..so DON'T EVEN HOPE FOR KNOWING ME!!!
but, in the end, i did write that
but I'm not that happy cause i thought i haven't use at least one bad word at all..
i wish he never speak to me again
if he dare to send me a useless or unimportant msg again
i swear i'll write all the bad words i ever know to him..
and curse him again and again!
(i admit that i'm not a good girl)
hell yeah!!!
well..here's the story
when i woke up..
nothing's happened unusual
and i went to church
because I'm a Sunday school teacher
(teach kids at church)
so i have to come there to there at 7.30 a.m
to join the others to pray together
then i looked at the schedule
I'll be working as administrator
and what i do is
i count the amount of kids
and so on
and i was working that by my own
(this is the 1st f*cking moment)
then a guy (a teacher Sunday school also) name EDY, came after me
(which is he did once send me a msg, and i didn't reply it)
he asked for a hand
well, i do have a pity on him
so i let him helped me to give a absence list to each class
(there's 11 classes,and just helped me for only 2 minutes,and i tried my best to get away from him so he wouldn't have a chance to ask me for another help..LoL)
personally,he's very ugly and kind a nerd
i really don't like him
if i could i would get away from him as far as i can
i just with him when i really need to
if i don't
why the hell i have to speak with him
and the day finally over
before i went to home
we have to pray together again before we all go home
bla bla bla
things went as usual
and at the night..
the second thing what happened to, which i wish it never happen
another guy from Sunday school name TRONLY
(which i never like either..and i don't wanna try to like..
this is what i think about him and it's absolutely correct..
his name and his face is look the same..his name is TRONLY, which his face look like a TROLL!!do u ever seen harry potter when he fight a TROLL??his face is exactly like that!!VERY HORRIBLE)
send me a msg..and this is what he said
TROLL GUY : "hai, anast..this is TROLL (let's call him TROLL)..today u worked as administrator, right??"
(cause i think he's gonna talk something important,so i replied it)
me : "yup..what's wrong?"
TROLL GUY : "nothing..i'm just asking..cause i saw u seems often walked through my class..u looked different today"
(what the hell he's talking about..I'm a administrator..it's common to go to every classes to see how things going on)
me : "so as a administrator, i can't see what's happen in each class, which that's why i suppose to do as admin??"
TROLL GUY : "btw,today you look so cute when u'r smiling..but don't be so overconfident"
(what the f*ck??!!! #$%^&^%$#@!@#$$#@#$%%$#@!@#$%^&*(*()(*&^%$#@$%^%$#@#$%^!!!!!!!! too much censor)
me : "why do i have to be overconfident"
TROLL GUY : "OK..sorry to disturbed you"
(i really want to get really mad at him..but i try to not to)
me : "u did disturb me..btw, could u please don't send me a msg if it's not important? cause it's just wasting my money"
then he didn't replied it
well..
before i send the msg
i asked my friend..
is it good idea if i reply it like that?
i do try to not write a bad word, which i want to
but if i just said to him 'that's ok', it's not making me happy..i wanna him to understand that i really don't like him, and i want him to know that i DO NOT WANNA KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM..so DON'T EVEN HOPE FOR KNOWING ME!!!
but, in the end, i did write that
but I'm not that happy cause i thought i haven't use at least one bad word at all..
i wish he never speak to me again
if he dare to send me a useless or unimportant msg again
i swear i'll write all the bad words i ever know to him..
and curse him again and again!
(i admit that i'm not a good girl)
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